Wednesday, July 11, 2012

July 11 Two Low Net team play!

52 out today! Great turn out and it was hotter than a pistol!

Announcements!

Weldon Steele - we thrashed Kamloops apparently 
but still ended up 4th out of 4 in our Zone 
so don't go bragging about anything anywhere!

I guess this sums up our Weldon Steele Season!

Our Senior Men's Two Ball Best Ball Tournament 
is on August 29th right here in Windy City!
Grab a partner and get ready to rumble!
Shotgun start and last year we wrapped it in 5 hours!

Draws for Meals at Eaglewood Restaurant here at the course were won by:
Les Swaine (Golfland's answer to the best in golf?) 
and the ever divine Laurel Gouthro!

Golf certificates were won by following suspicious characters:
Al Jakel won a shot at Shuswap Lake Estates as well did Ley Macmillan! HUMMM?

And the ever popular Terry Haines will clean up down in Merrit!

Token of the week was won by Debbie Quigley! 
For what? 
I dunno but we always humour our rookies!

Hidden Hole prize winner this week won a free weeks driving of 
Audrey Faulkner's Porsche Carrera!
 Free gas, free insurance and no pay speeding tickets included! 
Congratulations Audrey!
Audrey was captured at an early stage in her development!

Now to the real deal!
Winners this week was the foursome of John French, Larry Sill, Gerry Tresiera, and Rick Baker
They shot a net 113!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really!


As you can see they were as surprised as the rest of us!

In Second place with a somewhat more believable score was the group of:
Angus, Myrtle, Norm and Dennis Fitzmaurice.
Myrtle of course had to carry this group and said she felt like this most of the day!

Now there came two very fine teams who managed a third place tie!

Ian, Marilyn, Bruce and Lincoln.

They were well matched by that very popular group of:
Dwight, Ken Gorilla and Del! Some guy named Ian Campbell was too embarrassed to be associated with this group and said he had an appointment to keep!

 You know that these two groups had a great day on the course! Just looky here!
Hard to tell which one of these was Jacques and which one was Ken?

In 5th spot was this fairly spotty team!
Brian Motorcycle, Don Ozubko, Stevie Wonder and Bev Apple!

As you can tell Ozubko always has a green board in front of him!

Finally the sixth place team put in an appearance.
Sylvia, Doug (WTF? How did he manage to get on a winning team!) ,
 Audrey and Laurel.

Sad to say but Doug had his work cut out for him 
and he said it was a tough job!
Yeah tough work alright Doug!

Other groups were out on the course today as well! 
They for various good and sufficient reasons did not bend 
to the allure of competition and preferred a somewhat more quiet
 and solitary approach to the game! 
In other words LOSERS!

Al, Debbie, Jerry and Peter.

Bruce, Art, Ken and Ley

Fern, Jack, Terry and John Dumont!

Jorgen, Richard, Charlie and Don.

Les, Myles, Vic and Marc

Mark, Phil, Ludwig, and Erwin

Pat, Paul and Tave.


As you can see this is sort of how their game went today!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

July 4 Lunch for Free!

What happens when you disorganize, antagonize, 
mystify, 
and completely rewrite 
the Gentleperson's Rules of Golf 

- a bunch of nagging whining Seasoned Golfers 
who were completely mystified 
and bamboozled by a set of rules 
that any 6 year old kid could figure out 
in a minute 
- like cellphones or an Ipad!
 so who were these inept 
and completely out to lunch bunch! 
Eaglepoint Seasoned Golfers!


Honest - this is what they looked like today after the round!

 HE HE HE!
OK so we won't play Team Match play again anytime soon!

As you can see Jorgen was overjoyed 
at the game he played today 
and Walton and White were really excited 
to have played a game at which 
they had no prior knowledge of 
and afterwards were still in the same position!

I wrote the rules and I got a free lunch! 

Thanks to this group from which Dave Hampton exited early 
cause he alone was so deeply impressed 
by the Rules of the Game today!

The winning foursome were firm believers in the rules 
and happily sank back on their laurels 
and ate the free lunch 
bought for them by the above threesome 
plus Hampton!
As you can see Robertson, Quigley, Faulkner and Brown 
were totally impressed with the game, the scoring 
and hey - a free lunch!

Now here was another assortment of
"what in hell was the game and who won anything?"
Les was hiding his face, Ian said the beer was good, 
Fern said no E on the end please, 
Gerry said he thought he won,
 Del knew she won but didn't want 
to embarass the Judge 
and Grace knew she lost 
cause those dang opponents sank 
everything in sight 
and big John said -
 "this was the funkiest game of not golf I never played!" 
or something like that!
After about 5 tries to figure out who won
 they just bought their own lunches!
See I told you a tie was like kissing your sister!

There were some tolerably intelligent people on the course however 
and though I find it difficult to believe 
- John Dumont managed to sneak his team through to a winning position!
As you can see, Gloria, John, Paul and Lorraine were happy to have played 
and thrashed these sore losers!
Marilyn was out a lunch along with Bruce Betker,
Phil Walls and Barry Gray is still picking through the rule book
 to try and figure out how a guy who cards a 77 
has to end up buying someone lunch!


It could be though you played like this today?

But wait there were more!
Another winning group was out there as well!
Flavio (I'm not just your ordinary Latin Lover you know!),
Tave - free lunch - I'm in!, 
Mark - hey they helped me find my ball this week!
And Les - I pack a mean punch! Ekstrom! 
They were Lords and Masters over this sorry group!
Erwin ( I'm not just an ordinary Swiss pastry you know!), 
Laurel - when I pout at home Angus always lets me win! 
and John - my bottom lip quivers when I loses! 
Vic Feere avoided complete humiliation 
by claiming he had an appointment somewhere!
They said that this was sort of how their game went today!

There were apparently a lot of deuces but who cares - it's only luck unless I get one!

So back by popular demand next week will be another exciting variation of golf 
and we look forward to seeing what the Gods of Golf have done 
after their week layoff at Semlin Valley! 

On a somewhat more serious note 
- slow play has to be looked at 
- when one group finishes by 1:00 
and most of the others drag in by 2:00 
then something has to be done 
- let's talk about this and make it clear to everyone 
that if you lose contact with the group ahead 
and the group behind is on your tail 
you have to let them through!
 Do we have to get 
Ian Jacques
 back out on the job clearing up the slow alligators?

CU next week!



Sunday, July 1, 2012

July 4th Seasoned Golfer

As many of the Gods of Eaglepoint Golf 
are playing at Semlin Valley on the 4th there will be 
a Team Match Play format for this week.
4 person teams will be formed by the director 
at 8:45 AM and they will play match play Weldon Steele Format. 
To win a winning team must win at least 3 of the front and back nines! 
In the event of ties a putting contest by the "best" putter 
from each team will be the tie breaker!
There is no fee for prizes this week - losers pay for the winner's lunches!
Some "special rules" will be in force!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

June 27 Results

Announcements: There is a $50 team scramble tournament here
at the course
 on Saturday - get a group out
or see Brett at the shop and he will put you in play!

Token of the week was awarded to newcomer Bruce? for doing something!

Door Prizes of Free Lunches at Eaglepoint were awarded to
Norm Romano and Ludwig Faisthuber!

Doug Rutledge started off getting a pass to Talking Rock
 but eventually ended up getting two nine hole turns at Merritt!

Next Week July 4 there will be no organizing of a team game
but Robertson promises a free lunch for 1/2 the players!
The Gods of Golf from Eaglepoint will be playing at Semlin Valley!

The last session of Weldon Steele will be played tomorrow against Kamloops!
Gonna whup their butts apparently!

Deuces were given out freely and all these
weiners went home with an extra $5 in hand today!

Ley MacMillan, Wayne Ferguson, Grace Brown,
Bev McIntosh, Art Harms, Dave Assmus
Shirley Wicklund, Gloria Dumont, Steve Walton
(he got 2!), Jack Matthews and Louis Faisthuber!

Shock and awe greeted the announcement that 64 players were out today!


Now to the real meat of the matter - here are the WEINERS this week!

Tied for first were the two teams of :

Doug ( I can sing and bowl but can't dance!) Rutledge, 
Louis ( I can't sing and I can't dance but I sure can yell!) Faisthuber,
 Barry ( I just simply shot Louis's age 77 and had a great day!) Gray,
Les ( I can sweat your joints anytime and yes us plumbers are picky about chicken!) Ekstrom.


Jumping Jack Flash, Bill (Old salt!) Brown,
Longtime Louis sufferer Pat and Norm (Marriage - I can hardly wait!) Romano


When they celebrate a win they go all out!

In Third place was the team of Marilyn, Marilyn, Marilyn and Marilyn.
Some other people whose names are easily forgotten 
apparently played alongside of her but she managed to send them home
 to keep all the loot for herself! 
Again!
Marilyn firmly believes in the do unto the others 
before they do unto you first!

Then two teams tied for 5th spot 
- was it Harry Neale that said a tie is like kissing your sister?
The Gods of Eaglepoint Golf were out 
- One God went missing as he had a bus to catch! 
Dave (Yes you can run this dang thing 
anytime you bloody want to! 
What no takers!?) Hay,
Al (Let's see one two three ? 
What in hell comes next?) Jakel,
Ley ( If you want to see a bloody irrational number 
try and figure out Whitehead's score card!) MacMillan
MIA was the true champion God of the Golfing world 
- dare we admit it?
 Larry (No my bloody middle name isn't Wendell!) Sill

Osculating madly with them as a group (I know it is hard to believe but have faith cause it has happened!) was this group!
Deb Seibel, Marc (Yes I am back!) Guertin, 
Bruce (Ain't I pretty?! No? That's not what my mommy said!) White, 
and Ruth Kuromi. Thank God the ladies were playing cause well cause their introduction to Eaglepoint Seniors was trying to keep these two stiffs walking and awake the whole round!

 As you can see they started out as a fivesome but dropped somebody at the first tee!

Now cause we are a really nice group we have finishes up to 8th spot!

Sensibly in 6th spot was the fine group of:
 Mark ( I hit the ball really well but they wouldn't help me look for it!) Nadler,
Heather (Bird is the word baby!) Flamingo,
Vic (I am truly a remarkable human bean!) Feere 
and Shirley ( I can tell the whole world about what you been doing!) Wicklund
Oh and apparently the guy that dropped out of the fivesome above 
managed to scramble out of the weeds by lunch time 
and popped up into the picture! 
Something about he thought he had been mugged
 but then realized he was simply sober and it was a strange feeling! 
 ( His initials are apparently Terry Haines?)
 As you can see the team aged fast once Haines got into the picture!

In 7th Spot - aren't we nice to real losers?

Did Haines manage to be sober enough to get picked up out of the bushes - the other guys are so nice!
Barry "what's his name?), Charlie (I am the man! Baby!) Molloy, and Artful dodger Harms!

Charlie Molloy said he was showing Haines correct course management!
Barry and Art said Molloy was wrong in his technique 
cause he hit him in the head 
and after all where there is nothing to hurt what's the purpose?

Finally to get this lengthy list of so called winners out of the way we have the really bad losers award or affectionately known as 8th spot!
Dave ( Hey I am still smooth as silk baby!) Assmus,
 Ken (I'm just new here and don't necessarily 
want to associate with all these low lifes!) MacCormack, 
Del (I managed to beat them all again!) Macready 
and Gerry Soup!

I guess this the price 8th place losers get!

Now comes the truly fine golfers who wandered the course and commented on the frantic winning at any cost antics of the 8 so called superior players - like we are retired already and don't need this compulsive win at any cost mode!


Angus ( Yes I can cultivate a whole new vocabulary in one golf swing!) Gouthro, 
Rick (A few swings here and a few swings there 
- now it all comes back to me It was golf I was supposed to be doing!) Baker, 
Barry Salonen ( He Finnished out of the money!) 
and Grace ( I may be sweet and charming 
but don't get on the wrong side of me!) Brown
As you can see Grace really means it!

These nicer other folks were out there too!
Pooch had his D game working today, - Dang I forget who the big old guy was! Audrey Fisherman's Delight and Brian ( I can't add, I can't golf and don't let me get started singing!) Whitehead.
Audrey had to do the old fish eyes trick again! No wonder they couldn't golf properly today!

Then this fine group showed up somewhere out there!
John ( Yes I do answer to the name of "Hired Hand!") French, Gerry Tresiera ( I always was spelling it Tiramisu but got corrected with 5 iron behind the left ear!) 
Bev McIntosh - a sweet apple and Dwight Yoakum? No Oatway!
Bev said that this was how her day went today! French refused to confirm which one of the guys? he was and Tiramisu pulled out another 5 iron when approached by this reporter in an endeavour to find out which one he was! Oatway is the guy on the extreme right!

Ken (A bar - finally a green I can relate to!) Lawrence, Les (Golfland's finest!) and old soak Ozubko know where to put it to rest when their golf game wasn't up to standard ( Barry Hill just pegged off out the door to avoid further public embarassment!)
As you can see these guys are really into bar tricks!

Another fine group of incompetents also were out there today - couldn't hit, couldn't score and thank God they had Myrtle to help them along!
Myrtle (Putting queen!) Cadogan, Ken (If this is Wednesday then I'm hooped!) Robertson, Jorgen (Danish cheese king!) Sveistrup and Linc ( That's why I am married to her so somebody can pick me up when I fall down!) Cadogan.
Their day was really good till the first tee!
This is sort of how these three guys played today - thank God Myrtle was there!

Paul ( sometimes I am!) Sharp, the ever lovely Laurel (don't tell Angus you said that!) Gouthro,
Tave ( What Mercedes?) Dandy and everyone's favourite Gorilla AKA Ken .
As you can see Nevins needed help getting home again!
Dave ( Just making!) Bacon, Steve Walton, Peter Hasbon and Richard Zorn also graced the course and made a lot of attempts to do something with those small dimpled things but need to see Angus in order to learn how to properly address a golf ball!
I rest my case!
Last and certainly least was this awesome sorry awful foursome of Jack Anxiety, Linda you would be too if you were married to me, Wayne (I have a better swing on my back porch!) Ferguson and Ferne Gosselin
Sage advice given to Jack Angstad a long time ago but he didn't listen then either! HE HE HE